The Woke Requirement To Like Zach Bryan Has Been Canceled

[Zorro]

Everybody go back to cramming for your Bad Bunny Spanish speaking and dancing test!

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Nothing has happened this week that requires you to like country singer Zach Bryan, not even grudgingly.

This is not like the Bad Bunny situation, where you are currently taking two-hours of Spanish per night, another hour of puertorriqueño dialect, and dance classes on the weekend so that you may be prepared for the Super Bowl, as the dictatorship of #woke requires.

Short-form spoiler: Earlier this week, it seemed like Zach Bryan — one of the hugest country stars in the world, who just broke a record for biggest ticketed concert event ever with over 112,000 tickets sold for a single show in Michigan — was about to come out with an anti-ICE anthem, and maybe a very good one at that. He released a snippet on his Instagram. It surely sounded displeased with ICE.

The apparent song title: “The Fading of the Red, White and Blue.”

But now, after days of histrionics and snowflake caterwauling from the delicate losers of MAGA, Bryan has released a clarifying statement on Insta explaining that NONONONONO! you guys you have it all wrong! He didn’t make an anti-ICE anthem or take a moral stand against fascists or Nazis or anything like that! The history books aren’t going to record him as brave or anything! He just wrote a both sides anthem about how both sides are bad and can’t we all just get along?

Yeah. That’s what we get for getting excited about snippets.

It would also be what MAGA gets for getting excited about snippets, but they’re too lobotomy-stupid to notice Bryan’s clarification. That, or they won’t be satisfied with anything less than a full apology and a brand new song about sucking an ICE agent’s cock.

New working title: “The Fellating of the Red, White and Blue.”

(Man, we do see what we did there!)

https://www.wonkette.com/p/the-woke-requirement-to-like-zach