The Borowitz Report-Trump Orders Rubio to Distract from Algae by Skinny-Dipping in Reflecting Pool

[LetMyPeopleVote]

😂 🤣
Trump Orders Rubio to Distract from Algae by Skinny-Dipping in Reflecting Pool
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

— Captain Cliff ⛵🇺🇸 🇺🇦 (@properlookout.bsky.social) 2026-06-22T11:24:24.428Z

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-orders-rubio-to-distract-from

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Desperate to distract from the algae overwhelming the expensively-renovated Reflecting Pool, on Monday Donald J. Trump ordered Marco Rubio to skinny-dip in the green murk.

Reportedly, Rubio was taken aback by the extraordinary demand, but Trump roared, “Little Marco, you’ve got to take one for the team.”

By mid-morning, tourists gawking at the pool fiasco were stunned to see the Secretary of State doing a backstroke entirely naked except for his oversized Florsheims, which he appeared to be using as flippers.

Harland Dorrinson, who had traveled with his family from Akron, Ohio, initially recoiled at the sight of the nude Rubio, but later noted, “At least it wasn’t JD.”

[LisaL]

1. Since Rubio wears oversized shoes because Trump gave those to him,

he certainly would skinny dip in Trump's pool if asked.

[Goonch]

2. ;-{) THIS

[yellowcanine]

3. Rubio should walk across the algae with his giant shoes!

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

4. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[LetMyPeopleVote]

5. MS NOW-How Trump's reconstructed Reflecting Pool created a 'perfect' storm for algae

For one thing, an ecologist explained, the president’s color choice “absorbs more light, more heat, and extra heat is a benefit for algae growth.”

How Trump’s reconstructed Reflecting Pool created a ‘perfect’ storm for algae
For one thing, an ecologist explained, the president’s color choice “absorbs more light, more heat, and extra heat is a benefit for algae growth.” www.ms.now/news/trump-r...

— US News Now - World’s leading Liberal Voice (@democracyblue.bsky.social) 2026-06-28T14:01:31.440Z

https://www.ms.now/news/trump-reflecting-pool-algae-renovation

Dr. Peter May, an algae expert and ecologist at the University of Maryland, specifically pointed to three mistakes made by the administration during the overhaul: the color, the water and the season.

Trump inherited a Reflecting Pool last renovated by President Barack Obama in 2012, during which a light concrete material was used to line the base of the fountain. This allowed the fountain to reflect light and heat away from the water, May said. But once Trump directed the National Park Service to paint the pool a dark “American flag blue” — the highlight of his Washington makeover to celebrate the nation’s 250th anniversary — the temperature of the water rose.

“It absorbs more light, more heat, and extra heat is a benefit for algae growth,” May said, adding that this algal bloom will likely not be the last one we see this summer.

That is due in part to the water the park service filled the pool with, the same that comes from any sink in the city. May said the city’s tap water is high in both phosphorus and nitrogen, nutrients that are perfectly safe for people to drink, but also fuel algae growth. Add to that the summer heat — the renovation is set to be finished for America’s semiquincentennial on the Fourth of July — and the monument has quickly become an ideal incubator for the fast-growing flora. .....

The pool, like the White House ballroom, has become a visual symbol of the Trump administration’s wrecking ball to democratic norms. May says with current conditions and the blue hue, we could potentially expect a new bloom again.

“Well algae is great, it grows very fast and so a bloom happens overnight and or during the day because of photosynthesis,” May said of the organism’s unpredictable growth.

Only one thing is certain, he said: “The conditions are perfect for it right now. It could happen, and it could happen very quickly.”

[canetoad]

6. How could you tell the difference

Between pond life and algae?