Brian Karem: In 1976, I went to jail to celebrate the Fourth of July

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In 1976, I went to jail to celebrate the Fourth of July
America's 250th birthday is nothing like its bicentennial

By Brian Karem
White House columnist
Published July 3, 2026 9:10AM (EDT)


(Salon) Iam an unabashed lover of the Fourth of July. I always have been. In 1992 I spent the holiday in jail trying to protect a confidential source. That wasn’t my favorite Fourth, though you’ll forgive my hubris if I think it was my most patriotic. My favorite Independence Day was the bicentennial. I also went to jail that year. Sort of.

....(snip)....

By 1976, mom and dad had split, and as the bicentennial approached, it looked like I wouldn’t get to see the usual wild display of pyrotechnics and potential loss of limbs. Then, one day, while cleaning out my mom’s 1970 blue Chevy Impala, I had an epiphany. The trunk was massive. In later years, my friends and I would sneak two to four people into the drive-in theater utilizing the trunk space. Many a teenage love affair began or ended there. But on that day, I imagined that trunk filled with fireworks. Being a healthy capitalist, I immediately started taking orders from schoolmates. I figured I could make a small mint by driving to my dad’s favorite all-night firework stand and, for a reasonable fee, providing my friends with some patriotic explosives. There was only one problem with my perfect plan: At 15, I wasn’t old enough to drive.

....(snip)....

Thirty minutes later, I was in the 1970s version of Sheriff Andy Taylor’s office from ”The Andy Griffith Show.” I was worried — but not about my legal problems. More than anything else, I was concerned about my haul. The cops towed my mother’s car into an impound lot, and I was sure they’d found and confiscated the fireworks. All I could think was that some lucky corrupt cop, like our neighbor, was going to benefit from my labor, and I’d be broke for the rest of my life. The quarterback on our football team had purchased $50 worth. I had even sold some to a teacher. I was screwed.

....(snip)....

1976 was an odd year. I remember that John Wayne’s last movie, “The Shootist,” played at the same theater as “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

2026 is even odder. Our president is a demented crook literally making billions off his presidency while his millennial veep tries to convince everyone it’s all okay. We’re in a war that was started for reasons that still haven’t been explained while our country deports “low-wage foreigners,” claiming that doing so is a Christian act. ..................(more)

https://www.salon.com/2026/07/03/in-1976-i-went-to-jail-to-celebrate-the-fourth-of-july/