The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsWell....my brother died today.
Quite a character. It was just Mom him and me when I was 4 and he was 6. Lots of adventures. We moved a lot so we are both quite minimalists. My mom was a librarian so we had very intense quiet communication. Full conversations by a couple looks.
All the people who met him remember him by first name and when they met him.
Up and down the East Coast. Hampton RFK Philly Charlotte Raleigh Roanoke. Deadhead. 250 shows at least. Trust me anyone who ever met Jake remembers meeting him.
Funny smart really smart (Tolkien chapter and verse) loved food worked in lots of restaurants. We used to work in a pizza place where he tossed dough and I ran the ovens and the cash register. I wasnt aware that we were the show. Families sat in the booths up front to watch us go at it about music pop culture history sports etc.
Scarlet Begonias

marble falls
(68,894 posts)underpants
(193,465 posts)He loved that song.
BlueKota
(4,693 posts)AltairIV
(973 posts)mahatmakanejeeves
(67,058 posts)Im not a big fan of the Grateful Dead, but GD Radio is on my playlist.
https://www.gdradio.net/
LuckyCharms
(20,833 posts)He sounds like a great guy.
May he Rest in Peace.
babylonsister
(172,405 posts)Sincerest condolences.
Irish_Dem
(76,224 posts)What wonderful memories you have of Jake.
What character and neat guy.
surfered
(9,760 posts)Grim Chieftain
(698 posts)You are in my thoughts.
democrank
(11,835 posts)Take care of yourself~
yellow dahlia
(3,518 posts)He lived a life worth remembering.
sheshe2
(94,323 posts)RIP, Jake.
58Sunliner
(6,145 posts)bamagal62
(4,199 posts)For your loss. ❤️
dickthegrouch
(4,130 posts)sinkingfeeling
(56,556 posts)JMCKUSICK
(4,216 posts)You shared a treasure with us today.
SheltieLover
(74,428 posts)Healing vibes on the way to you.
2naSalit
(98,089 posts)My condolences.
MIButterfly
(1,485 posts)I extend to you and your family my condolences. May your memories of your brother eventually bring you peace.
With love and deep sympathy,
MIButterfly
mountain grammy
(28,316 posts)marked50
(1,528 posts)ancianita
(42,298 posts)and may your heart find peace, underpants.
hibbing
(10,474 posts)murielm99
(32,415 posts)It is hard to lose a sibling.
BumRushDaShow
(161,704 posts)Your happy memories will help to sustain you.
True Dough
(24,740 posts)I'll think of you and Jake. Wish I could have a slice with you both and listen to you debate.
My condolences on your loss, underpants.
Sailingdiver
(303 posts)Sounds like you have a lot of memories. Keep those alive.
Great tune. Love the Dead!
FalloutShelter
(13,889 posts)
herding cats
(19,857 posts)My heart to you.
spooky3
(37,988 posts)orangecrush
(26,998 posts)
Picaro
(2,225 posts)Diamond_Dog
(38,749 posts)The way you described him, he sounds like someone I wish Id met. Peace to all of you.
tavernier
(14,007 posts)My heart felt sympathy as you grieve for your loss, but at the same time you have something that cant be taken away from you.
Cherish the memories my friend.
PatrickforB
(15,276 posts)montanacowboy
(6,611 posts)
Karadeniz
(24,659 posts)Chemical Bill
(2,954 posts)I only went to 3 Dead shows, so I didn't meet him, but I'm sure we had mutual friends.
mahina
(20,094 posts)The music never stops
Wishing you comfort and peace of mind.
Marthe48
(22,086 posts)I hope that your conversations will resume someday. I had a brother like that, miss him a lot.
Be nice to yourself.
Alice Kramden
(2,809 posts)May your heart be comforted by the love surrounding you
CousinIT
(11,948 posts)I know you will cherish your memories of him for the rest of your days. He sounds like a great guy and your memories are heartwarming. Wishing you and your family lots of peace and strength at this heartbreaking time.
brer cat
(27,158 posts)Ilsa
(63,443 posts)grieve this loss. Big hugs, underpants.
Sogo
(6,701 posts)It sounds like you'll always have wonderful memories of him.
greatauntoftriplets
(178,410 posts)Your brother sounds like quite a character who followed his own path. If you and your mother moved around a lot when you were kids, you probably were close friends throughout childhood. The double act in the pizza place has to have been hilarious.
Cherish your memories of him.
Duncanpup
(15,254 posts)paleotn
(21,031 posts)Sounds like we lost a great one.
Gore1FL
(22,632 posts)As the very youngest of four, I fear I will bury at least one of my siblings.
I got all the cardio-vascular genes and the anger issues, so maybe the three of them will bury me, after all.
BootinUp
(50,530 posts)Lemon Lyman
(1,519 posts)no_hypocrisy
(53,405 posts)I hope your memories give you comfort.
fierywoman
(8,441 posts)
mokeyz
(91 posts)for your loss - sending hugs💙💛
Ellipsis
(9,388 posts)Last edited Fri Oct 10, 2025, 10:28 PM - Edit history (2)
I'm very sorry for the loss of your brother and wish you and yours the best.
Hey Joe
(258 posts)Its damn hard losing the most precious people in your life.
Wishing you the best.
AZJonnie
(1,861 posts)Sounds you have wonderful memories full of love & great times together. Can't hope for too much more than that in life
May Jake pass gently and be remembered fondly by all
AllyCat
(18,273 posts)Im so sorry.
KitFox
(441 posts)life well lived and a bond that will forever be with you. Take special care of yourself; grief can feel so physical, too. Peace and gentle hugs to you. 🧡🧡🧡
Dyedinthewoolliberal
(16,165 posts)Eom
MLAA
(19,555 posts)highplainsdem
(58,646 posts)sounds like someone who made friends everywhere he went.
I've been very open here about believing in an afterlife (though I'm not religious and I don't believe one's religion matters at all), and believing as well that our loved ones on the other side can sometimes find ways of comforting us when we're grieving, reassuring us that they're fine. I hope that will happen for you and Jake's other loved ones.
pdxflyboy
(890 posts)Healing vibes to you, underpants.
SleeplessinSoCal
(10,304 posts)❤️
mercuryblues
(15,911 posts)
quaint
(4,241 posts)
Morbius
(730 posts)There isn't. I think it helps at times like this to remember you are not alone, and it's sometimes okay to lean on other people. Or let them lean on you. That doesn't make it easier but I think it should help you cope.
Best wishes and sincere condolences; Morbius.
sdfernando
(5,932 posts)Sounds like you two had an amazing relationship and life. Remember all of those good times!
chowder66
(11,432 posts)
MuseRider
(34,991 posts)I became the last living member of my family about 6 months ago. It hurts and will for a while. Hold those good memories close. I am so so sorry. I never had a sister but my brothers were the best, all gone before I cross 71yo.
Be well. If you ever feel like dumping you can always send a mail. I have known you so long here that it feels like family and I am so sorry you are going through this.
Eko
(9,720 posts)So sorry, thanks for coming on here and sharing about him and you.
When that happens in my life I like to watch this, and thanks for including the Dead, I gotta re-learn that diminished run Jerry did on Help on the way/Slipknot.
Keep on keeponing.
Eko.

underpants
(193,465 posts)❤️
Solly Mack
(95,847 posts)My heartfelt condolences to you.
Alice B.
(653 posts)IcyPeas
(24,408 posts)JohnnyLib2
(11,285 posts)Very sorry to hear this. My condolences'.
BComplex
(9,623 posts)Close sibling relationships are primally important to who we become/are. I'm glad that you had him in your life all these years.
When someone you love dies, the love doesn't. The love lives on in you. Sending you a big hug.
irisblue
(36,241 posts)LoisB
(11,827 posts)debm55
(51,639 posts)
Uncle Joe
(63,395 posts)Last edited Sat Oct 11, 2025, 12:00 AM - Edit history (1)
Peace, strength and healing to you and your family.
EllieBC
(3,575 posts)for sharing stories about him. I think youd both have made a fabulous show at a pizza joint.
Skittles
(168,084 posts)I've lost two, it hurts
yardwork
(68,312 posts)Your brother sounds like an amazing person. I wish I had known him.
CaptainTruth
(7,921 posts)Cherish those memories, they will be with you forever.
Phoenix61
(18,589 posts)essaynnc
(946 posts)But so glad that you have so great memories of the two of you together !!!! May you Be at peace
JBTaurus83
(702 posts)Ive lost a couple of uncles who were Deadheads. Nice song choice.
Bayard
(27,393 posts)He sounds like a great brother and friend.
Maybe this will help some. When I lost my big brother, I started writing down everything I remembered about him, every story, every hug. Its something to hang onto. If he had kids, they'd probably appeciate it too.
Take care of yourself, and we're here for you.
LA Blue Bengal
(43 posts)for your loss. He sounds like a great person.
DaBronx
(732 posts)It is difficult to lose a sibling, one who shared the uniqueness of growing up together.
May you have strength and good memories to carry you forward.
Peace to you.
Docreed2003
(18,645 posts)
hamsterjill
(16,646 posts)Peace and comfort to you and to his other family and friends.
choie
(6,221 posts)BaronChocula
(3,547 posts)and sugar magnolias.
underpants
(193,465 posts)
marmar
(78,929 posts)
area51
(12,481 posts)
mzmolly
(52,481 posts)My condolences to you and yours.
InAbLuEsTaTe
(25,438 posts)🤗 🤗 🤗
KT2000
(21,760 posts)I am sorry. Losing a close sibling is like losing part of yourself. Peace to you.
Grumpy Old Guy
(4,100 posts)😥
lonely bird
(2,577 posts)May his memory be a comfort.
summer_in_TX
(3,870 posts)So sorry for your loss. May your memories of the good times bring you comfort.
HeartsCanHope
(1,351 posts)Hekate
(99,807 posts)

May Jake cross gently and meet you on the other side.



Figarosmom
(9,080 posts)Sorry you lost him. Glad you have such good memories to hold.🕯
BlueWaveNeverEnd
(11,695 posts)JoseBalow
(8,680 posts)
blm
(114,350 posts)peacebuzzard
(5,687 posts)


BigmanPigman
(54,046 posts)I don't handle death well at all. Even though I am an atheist I know that our energies never end but continue in another form.
That helps me a tiny bit but not enough to console me. The passage of time doesn't seem to lessen the loss I feel either. That's just me I guess.
I hope you handle it better than I would.
NNadir
(36,743 posts)gademocrat7
(11,688 posts)On the loss of your beloved brother.
mwmisses4289
(2,422 posts)Sorry to hear about your loss.
OldBaldy1701E
(9,318 posts)I hope you two had a great relationship and the memories will be forever.
Donkees
(33,255 posts)
❤ ''For we put the thought of all that we love into all that we make.''
- JRR Tolkien
TommieMommy
(2,424 posts)Danmel
(5,618 posts)May sweet memories of your beloved brother bring you comfort and peace.
barbtries
(30,827 posts)If you'd been on the West Coast, he and my brother John would have definitely been friends. Love your memories here, may they and many more comfort you profoundly.
70sEraVet
(4,992 posts)Wicked Blue
(8,291 posts)Blessings of peace, heaing and wonderful memories for you.
Clouds Passing
(6,137 posts)You are so lucky to have had a good relationship with a very cool brother.
Jake
Emile
(38,269 posts)I lost my brother in April, and I miss him.
MayReasonRule
(3,918 posts)



malaise
(290,114 posts)
Fla Dem
(27,184 posts)
peggysue2
(12,215 posts)Losing a sibling is really hard, a punch to the head and heart.
Be kind to yourself. Sending hugs.
flashman13
(1,639 posts)LetMyPeopleVote
(171,317 posts)Mad_Dem_X
(10,048 posts)
GoneOffShore
(17,922 posts)pandr32
(13,507 posts)You shared so much. It must be hard.
Faux pas
(15,964 posts)and to all who knew and loved him.
Deuxcents
(24,375 posts)swimboy
(7,322 posts)kentuck
(114,792 posts)These are some difficult times.
turbinetree
(26,638 posts)
cate94
(3,018 posts)
IbogaProject
(5,170 posts)And also sorry to have lost a fellow east coast dead head with over 150 shows seen while Jerry was alive.
littlemissmartypants
(30,129 posts)
red dog 1
(31,963 posts)250 Grateful Dead shows?
Wow!
Celerity
(52,526 posts)
luvallpeeps
(1,250 posts)So sorry for your loss. Sounds like a great brother. I feel for you.💔
cliffside
(1,397 posts)

electric_blue68
(24,312 posts)Ocelot II
(127,747 posts)
OAITW r.2.0
(30,752 posts)He was certainly a brother in the musical dimension.
That sucks, but the reality of mortality appears inescapable. Best thoughts my friend.
Niagara
(10,917 posts)
OAITW r.2.0
(30,752 posts)While the back story doesn't quite fit, this song always evokes all the folks I have lost.

BobTheSubgenius
(12,120 posts)My sister died a few years ago (7 years younger than me) and I have always regretted not knowing her better. You and your brother were both much the better for your relationship.
SB is one of my favourite songs, btw. It seldom turns out the way it does in the song.