The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsDo folks have trouble making friends?
Most of my friends have moved away or have died. How do you make new friends as an adult?
no_hypocrisy
(55,377 posts)Garden clubs, join a local community chorus (or church choir).
I'm 69 and have friends spanning from 17 to 89. I collect people. If I'm alone, it's my choice.
3catwoman3
(29,803 posts)One of my hesitancies about meeting new people is what if I do meet someone Iminitially think I like and then find out theyre a Trumper. It would be a deal breaker.
samplegirl
(14,125 posts)Ours I quit 2 yrs ago. And the chairman knows but don't say anything.
Lots of fake people these days.
Diamond_Dog
(41,047 posts)at my community pool and also at the community center where there is a chair yoga class.
multigraincracker
(38,044 posts)Seems they all turned out to liberals and love to go on walks in nature.
I joined a local Lions Club. They dont talk about politics or religion and have lots of volunteer activities.
viva la
(4,637 posts)Also I have become friends with friends of friends, hanging out in a group and then getting together separately.
I recently became friends with a friend of my son's ex. Complicated! But we're both writers, and though she's 30 years younger and in another state, we zoom together every week and talk about what we're working on.
I think that what turns acquaintances into friends is to shift the venue. That is, I'm in a book club at the library, and if I feel like I'm connecting with one or more people, I suggest we go out for coffee after the meeting. Sometimes then we start getting together in between meetings.
This might be a lot easier for women, who might be more likely to meet in situations where there's a lot of chance to talk, like book groups and craft groups.
Marthe48
(23,441 posts)What kind of friendships would you like to have? Deep, meaningful, casual, lunch pals, common goals?
If I wanted to make friends, I'd go to the local historical societies, or the museums. I usually talk to people at the antique and thrift shops. I run into friendly people at the library.
Any of the community organizations need volunteers. Aside from filling your time, doing something you care about, you meet like-minded people. If you take a class at the community college, you'll probably make friends. I took a class over 20 years ago. One of my neighbors was in the class. I didn't know her until she said we were neighbors and we've been friends ever since.
I have friends through volunteering at the Dem headquarters. When I go to the protests, I know many people there, and meet more every time.
If you are a car person, there are usually Cruise-Ins in nice weather. The car owners are friendly.
Any of these are starting points. If you enjoy the company of someone, let them know and be willing to give and take to develop a relationship. My most recent friendship to take hold is with a mutual friend of my best friend who passed away almost 2 years ago. We had that friendship in common and have been getting to know each other the last few years, mostly phone calls. Our friendship was born in grief, but is growing from those ashes.
And you always have DUers
There are a few people here who I consider friends, mainly because there has been give and take in our posts, that bonded us. I might not meet them face to face, but they are in my universe.
Hang in there. You are never alone.
truddy777
(131 posts)Honestly most adult friendships happen by accident through hobbies, work or seeing the same people over and over. Randomly making friends from scratch feels awkward as hell after 30 😅
True Dough
(27,310 posts)drive everyone away.
Rather successful so far, if I do say so myself.
Maybe it's time to reassess your goals and come over to my side.
zanana1
(6,530 posts)Most of the people who worked there were young, but one day I was making phone calls and she was doing the same. We started talking that we were about the same age and went to the same college.
Find someone you have a lot in common with. It isn't easy, but something like a political campaign makes it doable. (Is that even a word)?
I hope you find someone soon. Friendship was never easy for me.
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