My son-in-law's Mom passed away in Feb.2026
We were friends, respected each other and made sure our kids got the best we could offer. Even though her family knew she was sick, her doctors couldn't offer a certain diagnosis or treatments that were palliative or curative. The last year of her life was hard on us all. When she passed away, her kids and husband were with her. That will probably be the last time they are all together. Her sisters and my son-in-law made arrangements for a celebration of life, which, for a number of reasons, was delayed until last Saturday. I was invited to come, which meant travel arrangements. My kids and sons-in-law managed everything for me, and got me to the service and home again.
The memorial was simple and heartfelt. About 30 people were invited and it was a pleasure to meet friends who grew up with our departed loved one. I have met her sisters and other relatives, but I feel that meeting them all really gave me a new picture of her life and her personality. It was a celebration of life, and that meant tears and laughter. Her sister and friends created a memorial garden on the farm where she grew up. After we shared stories, we took her ashes to the garden. Her sisters spread them and those who wanted to, helped cover the ashes with mulch and water. After that, we went in for light food and desserts. My daughter made a dessert from a hand-written recipe card her mother-in-law had given me, which I passed along to my daughter as a remembrance. I heard several stories that made me laugh and I saw my serious opposite as quite a funny and imaginative prankster. I also learned that even if our families grew up in different parts of the country and had vastly different lifestyles, we had a lot in common. There were a few things that the sisters experienced in their life and I experienced in mine, which made me feel closer to them.
I feel like I've been living under a cloud the last few months. I was grieving her loss, and worried about the kids. Now that the celebration of life has been completed and I am home, I notice I am in a better frame of mind and my energy has improved. Yesterday, my local daughter, her husband, their son and I drove from Maine to Ohio and made the trip in just under 16 hours! I've done more today than I had done the first 2 weeks of June.
We don't always realize how important closure is when we lose a beloved person in our lives. I wanted to talk about attending the celebration of life, because this is one of the few times that I've noticed how healing it was for me. Of course, I'm not ready to move one, but the memorial is going to help me do so. I hope people who grieve will find a way to gain some closure, whether it's a gathering of loved ones, or a symbolic gesture. We will help ourselves and offer better support to our other loved ones.
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with them.
This is a beautifully written remembrance that you shared with us.
My deepest condolences on your dear friend, Marthe.
Your words mean a lot to me 
Be kind to yourself too.