Trump stuns the globe with new announcement - Another Day - Brian Tyler Cohen

[TexasTowelie]

BTC: Trump holds off on committing war crimes for two whole weeks. Hooray. This is just another day.

Breaking news from the world of presidents with criminal intent.

[cut to video from MS NOW]
Ari Melber: In a lengthy new post, he says that he's had conversations with Pakistan as an intermediary and that he agrees to “suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks.” He calls it a “double-sided ceasefire.”

The president goes on to write that he has already met and exceeded military objectives and received a 10-point proposal from Iran that has been independently reported. Some discussion of that and he says now that he believes it's a workable basis on which to negotiate.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Well, I for one feel well better isn't the word more relieved about the continued survival of our species as we momentarily step off the ledge to total annihilation at the prospect of an emergent global nuclear conflict or you know what better works.

But despite the good news that we're not blowing up Iran for at least 2 weeks, which for Trump is a completely untested timeline.

[cut to video montage]
Trump: We're going to be having a news conference in about 2 weeks to let everybody know how well we're doing.

[snip]
Trump: We're building a lot of wall. We're building new sections starting in about 2 weeks. We're building some brand new sections, large sections.

[snip]
Trump: I will make that decision, I would say, over the next two weeks.

[snip]
Reporter: Do you still believe that Putin actually wants to end the war?

Trump: I can't tell you that, but I'll let you know in about two weeks. Within two weeks, we're going to find out very soon.

[cut to studio]
BTC: So, putting aside this new 14-day war crimes reprieve, part of me feels like whoever wrote today's statement was different from the person who wrote this one just last night.

[cut to video from CNN]
Reporter: He says, "A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don't want that to happen, but it probably will."

[cut to studio]
BTC: See, something just feels tonally dissimilar, right? And I'm sorry, but I don't want that to happen, but it probably will. Are not the words of the commander-in-chief. They're more like the words of your friend in college while they pregame.

Listen, bro. Based on the way I'm pounding these natty lights, I'm going to annihilate your bathroom later. I don't want that to happen, but it probably will, but apologies. Our extremely erudite president continued.

[cut to video from CNN]
Reporter: “However, now that we have complete and total regime change where different, smarter, and less radicalized minds prevail, maybe something revolutionarily wonderful can happen. Who knows? We will find out tonight. One of the most important moments in the long and complex history of the world.”

[cut to studio]
BTC: This man thinks he's still in the TV business. Donald Trump teased the annihilation of an entire country, 93 million people, the way ABC tries to get you to tune in to Grey's Anatomy. Trust me, if at any point he commits war crimes, I promise Trump will get the viewership he's pining for.

But if you're like most people on the planet, you might be a little bit confused right now with Trump's annihilation/non annihilation of Iran. And if that's the case, there's really only one person to blame.

[cut to video from Fox News]
Karoline Leavitt: President Trump completely and totally obliterated the the capability of Iran to produce a nuclear weapon.

[cut to video at Cabinet Meeting]
Trump: The amazing thing is we don't need the Hormuz Strait. We don't need it. We don't need it at all.

[cut to video from WH speech]
Trump: We've beaten and completely decimated Iran. They are decimated both militarily and economically and in every other way and…

[cut to video]
Trump: Wwe've won this. This war has been won.

[cut to studio]
BTC: If we've already won this war, decimated and obliterated the country that control the waterway that we have no need for, then someone please explain to me why the fuck we needed to make their whole civilization die tonight or even two weeks from tonight.

[cut to video from Fox News]
Jesse Watters: You know, the threat I see it like, remember when Tyson said he wanted to eat Lennox Lewis's children? I saw it as trash talk. I didn't actually think Tyson was going to devour his children.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Uh, okay. So, according to Jesse Watters, when Trump says something we agree with, we should think of him as America's commander-in-chief. But when Trump says things we find incredibly disturbing and downright criminal, he's just a boxer talking some trash. Well, that seems like a very healthy way to view the guy who has unilateral authority to launch a nuclear strike.

And despite what this administration would like to believe, it is not just a bunch of left-wing libs or members of the mainstream media who are freaking out over the president's threats.

[cut to video from The Tucker Carlson Show]
Tucker Carlson: If you work in the White House or in the US military, now is time to say no. Absolutely not. And say directly to the president, no, in case you're thinking about using some weapon of mass destruction against the population of Iran.

Those people who are in direct contact with the President need to say no. I'll resign. I'll do whatever I can do legally to stop this because this is insane and have given the order. I'm not carrying it out. Figure out the codes on the football yourself.

[cut to studio]
BTC: I'm not sure that's as big a threat as Tucker thinks it is because I can pretty much guarantee that when Donald Trump started his second term, he took Elon Musk's hilarious advice and change the nuclear codes to

[inset video]
Elon Musk: Two 69s. Um…

BTC: Thank God comedy is legal again. But that is Tucker Fucking Carlson saying the people around Trump need to ignore his orders. And he's not alone.

MAGA diehards like Candace Owens tweeted, "The 25th Amendment needs to be invoked. He is a genocidal lunatic. Our Congress and military need to intervene. We are beyond madness."

Margorie Taylor Greene responded to Trump's threats by tweeting, "25th Amendment. Not a single bomb has dropped on America. We cannot kill an entire civilization. This is evil and madness.”

Even this guy."

[inset video]
Alex Jones: How do we 25th Amendment has ass?

BTC: I despise everything this trash heap of a human being does and says. So, it should speak volumes that Donald Trump has lost his support. I mean, for God's sake, Trump even lost the word of God.

[cut to video]
Pope Leo XIV: Attacks on civilian infrastructure is against international law, but that it is also a sign of uh the hatred, the division, the destruction the human being is capable of. And we all want to work for peace. People want peace. I would invite the citizens of all the countries involved to contact the authorities, political leaders, congressmen to uh ask them, tell them to work for peace and to reject war always.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Yes. Listen to the pope. Please reach out to your elected officials. You don't even have to have some direct line to the president to make this happen. Trust me.

[cut to video from C-SPAN]
JD Vance: Before I started my remarks, I actually had a special guest that asked that I give him a phone call, and we'll see. Let's hope he actually answers. So, this is going to be very embarrassing. All right.

Recording: I'm sorry. The person you were trying to reach has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet.

JD Vance: Okay.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Hey, maybe just shoot him a quick text telling him not to commit war crimes. You could even knock it out with a few emojis since I know that you're super busy over there in Budapest trying to get the far-right nationalist Victor Orban elected. And time is of the essence.

The reality is what we are witnessing is just another piece of Donald Trump's attempt to cement his legacy in American history. This man wants to be known as the president who toppled the Iranian regime no matter the cost. Because Donald Trump doesn't care how much the American people have to sacrifice, how much the Iranian people have to suffer, how many soldiers lives are lost, or how high a price America pays in its global standing around the world.

Because whatever that cost is, it won't affect him one bit. Soon he'll be out of office, his ankles too swollen to stand on, confined to the painfully brutal life of a sitting in a wheel golden wheelchair at top one of his many multi-million dollar penthouses. This is why Trump can so easily start wars and lob incredibly dangerous threats. Because when it comes time to pay the price, he is not personally on the hook for any of it.

This is a businessman who has achieved his life goals of gambling with other people's money. Back when he was in the real estate game, building his own hotels and casinos and golf courses, if things didn't go well, he would be stuck with the bill. Well, theoretically.

[cut to video from ABC Nightline]
Reporter: One of those involved in the Taj's construction was Martin Rosenberg.

Martin Rosenberg: Had I known that Trump was going to take over the job, I would have never done the job.

Reporter: He says the Taj job nearly cost him his company, which was contracted to provide glass, mirrors, and doors.

Martin Rosenberg: He promised if we did a good job, we would get paid. He says Trump owed him over $1 million, and he wasn't alone. Rosenberg says Trump didn't honor the contracts of over 100 contractors who helped complete the Taj Mahal.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Yes, Donald Trump cracked the code on becoming a success. Just don't pay the people who work for you. And in 2026, Trump is living his dream. He can use everybody else's money for everything he wants. If he needs an extra trillion to pay for his wars, that's no problem at all. He can simply shuffle around some of your tax dollars that were going to go for things like health care, education, and housing. You know, unnecessary dumb shit.

Trump's wars are just another piece of his legacy building puzzle. And what is so pathetic is how differently the rest of us view his legacy building efforts to the way he views them. Trump sees his ballroom, his renamed Kennedy Center, and his proposed DC archway as structures that make remembering him a guarantee.

But what he is completely oblivious to is the fact that the rest of us know that he's actually doing all of this so the world forgets the horrible shit he's done. Just as he's done for decades, Trump's efforts are a marketing ploy to convince people that what he's selling isn't trash. He did it with his university, his steaks, his sneakers. But this time, he's using our money and our resources to pedal his garbage.

I'm grateful that someone somewhere stepped in and convinced our warmonger of a president to pump the brakes on his willful annihilation of millions and millions of innocent civilians in Iran. But as long as Trump remains in office, that option remains on the table, along with a whole host of disastrous outcomes for our nation and the rest of the world. As a soon-to-be war criminal once said,

[cut to video from CNN]
Host: "I don't want that to happen, but it probably will.”

[cut to studio]
BTC: Exactly.

[bucolic_frolic]

1. These strike me as public therapy sessions on the subject of war

Do you tip off your enemy beforehand? No. At war, you just do. This is more like extortion, do what I want or else. Petulance.

Let's have a negotiated war.