Spurious News: White House announces plans to legally put Trump's face on a coin! [View all]
WASHINGTON (Spurious News Network) -- In recent days, King Donald Trump has declared that the United States will celebrate its 250th anniversary as a nation by releasing a dollar coin featuring him. On the front of the coin will be an image of King Donald in profile, using his mug shot as a model. The back will display a rendering of him reenacting the day he was shot in the ear.
These plans have a serious drawback: under federal law it is illegal to put a living person on United States currency.
White House aides say that's no problem at all.
"We're adding 50 percent lard to everything he eats and tripling his portions, we taught him to smoke four packs a day, and we're playing heavy metal albums full-blast all night long through a massive speaker we built into his bed. Six months from now, at the max, it'll be perfectly fine to make legal-tender Trump coinage."
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