Pissbaby Republicans Freaking Out Over Upcoming No Kings Rallies

[Zorro]

Soros! Paid protesters! And other cliches.

Gosh, everyone, Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is so upset. What’s got our nation’s most powerful Keebler elf’s nards in a vise? Did his phone alert his kid that he was watching jackalope porn? (As a side note, those two might want to consider a different app for monitoring each other’s masturbation habits.) Did someone outlaw buttermilk biscuits and ham? Is he sad because he is three feet tall, and standing next to John Thune makes it look as if it is “Take Your Nephew to Work Day” on Capitol Hill?

No, no, none of that, so far as we know. What Johnson is mad about — blood-boilingly, cheeks-reddeningly, steam visibly emanating from his ears like Butch the dog in an old Tom and Jerry cartoon mad about — is that the Democrats won’t reopen the government before the No Kings rallies next weekend. Or, as Johnson calls them, the Democrats’ “Hate America” rallies on October 18, for which they are selling T-shirts. That last part seems to particularly offend the Keebler elf.

Why, he’s so mad he marched right over to his office on his stubby little legs and cancelled all House business for next week so legislators can take a few more days off. Also, in what we’re sure is a giant coincidence, it delays any sort of vote to release all the Epstein files. That’ll show ‘em.

Here in reality, there are a couple of points to make. The first is that, as Mike Johnson damn well knows, the Republicans don’t need the Democrats to reopen the government. The Senate GOP is welcome to nuke the filibuster anytime it wants, thereby lowering the threshold for passage from 60 to 50 votes, and pass the House continuing resolution. Presto, the government is funded for at least the next few weeks.

Republicans don’t have the stones to nuke the filibuster on funding bills. Or they are perfectly fine with this shutdown, which they continue to think is going to eventually sink the Democrats’ approval ratings so low that they will cave. Or some combination of all of that.

Of course the Republicans could also sit down and negotiate with the Democrats … ha ha ha ha ha ha oh we have fun. They don’t want a deal. Besides, with them having decided that rescissions by the president are totally fine, what would be the point? The Democrats are going to sit down, negotiate a compromise, and then watch as the Republicans ignore the deal and let the president cut whatever funding he wants? Even Democrats don’t seem interested in letting Republicans step all over them.

We know, it’s weird to us too.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/pissbaby-republicans-freaking-out