My friend is 78+ and is married to a harridan and an Amazon Shop-A-Holic. The PRIME truck regularly stops at their house and there are piles of UNOPENED boxes in all their rooms.
The wife is getting something like $3,500 to $4,000 monthly between her pension and SS. But that's not enough.
She's gone as far as using HIS Social Security # and birthdate to get into his account via online bank to embezzle money that's needed to keep their home from being publicly auctioned for not paying municipal taxes -- and more.
What does this have to do with dementia?
For more than six years, his wife has purposely telling not only medical personnel, but also the Police, that he has dementia, only based on the fact that she's a retired registered nurse. (She was in the OR for her career and I can't imagine where she'd have learned about dementia.) She has zero training in psychology or psychiatry.
The worst thing you can claim about my friend is that he has so many keys that he misplaces them and because his wife is trying to prove that his "forgetfulness" proves that he has dementia, she's gone as far as hiding his cellphone. (Kinda like real-life Gaslight with Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman.)
And she does this in front of him and he just benignly smiles. He says he does this because it's all too silly, but it comes off like he agrees with her because he doesn't disagree or counter her assertions.
He's a victim of marital narcissistic abuse and he knows it, but he won't leave her.
And now, the seminal question of why does his wife try to get him labelled as "demented"? In hopes of going to court in the future to get Power of Attorney over his finances. What finances? As I referenced above, HE has no money, but he owns their house and property by way of marriage. For years, she's wanted to sell and move closer to their daughter in another state, but my friend refuses to sell and move. And you need both the consent of the husband and wife to sell. And she can keep and spend all the proceeds of the sale. (You were wondering why she won't divorce him. It's because with divorce, maybe the court will force the property to be sold and get half of the proceeds. If she gets Power of Attorney, she get ALL OF IT.)
You only need two physicians to go to court and assert that you have dementia and you are incapable of making any rational decisions. Your wife steps up and takes responsibility. Once the Judge has signed the Order that your spouse has Power of Attorney on your financial and legal affairs, the house can be sold by the spouse immediately.
Not only is this the height of embezzlement in a marriage, but it degrades people who are truly going through dementia and their loved ones who are doing their damnedest help them while keep THEIR sanity.
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