Something is on my mind today.

[NNadir]

22. The very wonderful thing about facing one's mortality is that...

...one cannot do it unless one has lived.

It seems as if you have done that, lived, as did the man in the pajamas, who ultimately made the choice to not live.

I remember as a young man reading (in translation as I did not know much French at the time) Camus' The Myth of Sisyphus which argued, if I recall correctly, that life is always worth living precisely because it is absurd.

Maybe so, maybe not.

It is wonderful that you are alive to consider these things, to reflect on them, to have that dead man still living in your memory.

In a way, despite the tragedy you describe, your reflection on them is a marvelous thing in and of itself, in an odd way, strikingly informed by the act of having a heart still beating.

Congratulations on that, the heart still beating.