Dedicated to Prof Hennessy!

[jfz9580m]

30. Sorry

I am sorry I dissed so many people. I didn’t really mean it, except I also totally did. They shouldn’t write terrible opeds and mob people and so on.

No..Look..I will say this. You are all genuinely terrifying. People online. The way you mob and dissect other humans. It is its own modern threat and you should not do that where it is not public figures with a lot of power and money.
It just looks like a village mob. I was reflexively combative seeing the Tim Hunt, Justine Sacco, Amy Cooper things.

With mass incarceration getting way less attention than these randoms caught on camera. You won’t find anything like that on me. But that is because the reason I have relatively few biases for or against humans is, I prefer animals any day. But a lot of people are socialized based on their personal experiences and being filmed or on camera is constant tension. As is random stuff genuinely being taken out of context, failing to factor in personal evolution etc.

It is more because my misanthropy is more universal and neutral and merely favors the bullied or underdog that I have avoided any prejudices..and btw yes I noticed a lot of relatively well off who whine a lot. You would be better served by a stiff upper lip!
I told my dad that. It is more sympathetic when he grins and bears it!

But humans are complicated. One way Nathan Robinson sometimes strikes me as too overground is..yeah sure there are people who hide not giving a shit.
But coming from the sciences, I know a large percentage of the nicest scientists and doctors are actually really enlightened (I try to use less loaded words sometimes to avoid thought terminating cliches), but very understated.

During BLM, my pi just posted this like brief statement of solidarity with an emoticon. But knowing him, I know that meant more than floods of drivel. That is more my style!
Mostly to try to neutralize earlier floods of drivel.

Of course, what I was most stressed by were the attacks on Dr.Fauci.
And I try to be inscrutable in part by throwing lots of shit around.

I vaguely grasped during this period that being fancy like Dr.Fauci looks more dangerous than being as President Trump (hey come on..I have to..I came from the NIH and am trying to get into respectable drag. It is not going well..) castigated it..low class.
I am low class left…that seems safer.
What else could it be with Dr Fauci. He is in every way an actual elite and he is not even snooty. He is just not an outright degenerate.
So presumably being low class is key. I can do that..
I have already attacked some total randoms, internet style. I am truly sorry. It is the medium and dark triad.
No I am really sorry. And your opeds are terrible.
You should all direct any flack at Hennessy.

No don’t dox him. He is cool (relative to even more awful people).

I think I shall be disowned by everyone I know at this point..Oh well..maybe except Yasha Levine and Chris Ketcham. They are like rockstars and I got emails back from them! And am sleazily trying to bilk their popularity..

That was the sole plus.

No. I made some rambling calls for solidarity in there in between disgraceful attempts to deflect attention to various randoms.
It is funny because it is real.

It isn’t very funny how Google, Facebook, Amazon, Netflix, Tata, Reliance, Blackstone etc are destroying society. It is a parasitic invasion and has cost me financially, healthwise and definitely caused the death of my mom and is truly ruining this sleepy city I am from.

And just because the Indian marijuana industry is cool and trying to normalize an actually useful product, doesn’t mean the rest of it isn’t really shameful.

I want to put this out there - what was salient to me about this time and how I perceived largely well intentioned people (I don’t mean it in the sugary social media way or condescendingly, but also not insipidly low effort kumbayaa..good intentions also need a realitic appraisal of the society one is in and that is where things seem to fall apart. Even where we agree that we can trust each others’ intentions, this is not working when people trust the wrong things or in the wrong ways and sideline some views like mine).

I don’t have an insipid colorblind, gender blind, class blind, culture blind etc view. But where and how I factor in the dynamics and how to communicate them is personal.
I would mock and affectionately prop all groups up except the worst off if I could.

You are all in the sway of really terrible people sometimes is how I personally see it.

I have very rabble adjacent instincts. I don’t really like this position.
But I don’t think I can entirely avoid copious amounts of feedback.

It is really very unfair to all the better people. One way or the other Hennessy has to be neutralized a bit. He should be complimented.
I quasi retract various dark triad and survival instinct fueled attacks for the sake of adequate civility to balance out all the low class behavior .

I was very pleased I got emails from Yasha. He struck me as a good candidate for character witness without extensive testing

I am not cynical. But I do mock how information is disseminated by our overlords and how all of you respond. No it is okay.
I was like that once and almost sent a long screed to Joel Achenbach when he made a joke about eating Ivory Billed Woodpeckers.

I realized in the nick of time I was being ridiculous and stopped. You are a terrifying society. I crashed in Dec 2011 when old man Hennessy’s cult abducted me and I need help from Yasha Levine. Because he gets that funny dynamics are serious.

Maybe more (well in my more asinine moments what I consider a bit self-serious, self-important, humorless to the point of histrionic/melodramatic and importantly overly intellectually rigid in self-defeating ways)

You know I respect the left like DemocracyNow! and more pragmatic people as on DU (it isn’t a hedge…I am more left than pragmatic sometimes, but it is always contextual). Humans generate so many many more predictions I bet than those stupid things.
That is not a many world, ♾️ thing. I still rarely follow anyone around except Yasha Levine and Chris Ketcham. But I look at a very large number of humans casually in isolation and think “huh..who the hell knows what went wrong there”. Which is why..It is not nuance to prioritize “rehabilitating” the worst people as Rosalind Picard wanted to with Epstein.

I noticed a lot about human thought, which while they are my perceptions, they are based on casual and unemotional appraisals of all of your intergroup dynamics.

The human brain is way richer than those guys with their rigid platforms prioritizing depressing rather than largely positive things.
But this isn’t empty positive thinking.

I just do not have this overly paranoid view of the intentions of my fellow humans, but they or rather there I absolutely say we, do overestimate our smarts. All of us at times.
Not to the extent of say old Hennessy, who takes the cake and that is even video game reference (Portal or some such thing according to cleverbot. I was a bit intrigued by that The Catlady game though:
)
All us our fallible and these bts Wizards of Ooze and Oz are seriously kidding themselves into thinking they are not screwing us over.
I don’t think they can help it. They seem to have no self awareness at all and an inflated opinion of their own importance (something one of the most boorish and inept shrinks I met at the local state medical hospital ascribed to me. And at a time when my self-esteem was for the only time in my life rock bottom like that of any cult inductee who rebels..I am not elite like my last mentor, but I also didn’t buy it. And Yasha I think would understand..I generally like scientists. Those attacks on Dr.Fauci and on medical professionals broadly are bullshit.
That is not like shitposting online. Same with cybersecurity. Those are the few real jobs.
When you are in other important jobs you should have the discrimination that say Yasha does to pick your elite targets with some recognition of what real work is.
Fuck MTG. Dr. Fauci is awesome. Everyone should appreciate Dr. Fauci more.

Hennessy is such a pain in the butt. Don’t dox anyone. This is all really positive and only for inside the system MeToo (hey surely all your creeps out there appreciate that! I think you should be fired and disciplined and held up as examples but bts. Unless you are like Epstein, it is is icky for you and me to have you be online.
A rare collaborative moment with creeps! Of course if that weren’t feasible I would dump it here. But I don’t like that. That is a breakdown of the system when what HR can handle is online).
This otoh is a less demeaning callout of respectable if kinda sleazily pushing his own libertarian conservative politics and labeling them inevitable as Prof. Hennessy.
This isn’t kayfabe. But it is conflict with Prof Hennessy as I see it. He is not a bad man.
He is just really daft and will ..

Music! Oh well..if you have access to non-pirated music (no irony re parasitic technologists who oppose paying taxes also aggrandizing piracy, which is basically theft with vague bs about “sticking it to the music industry”? I hate Microsoft, but I paid for my Windows still. So many who pirate are not badly off..that is the thing. I am solidly middleclass - never aspired to go higher, refuse to sink lower that too after this totally parasitic shit. I cannot sue like Ellen Pao. I could only sue if it was with another large group of colleagues and doctors and other humans, but not something like lobbying for Harjinder Singh. It should be for democracy and broadly common ideals.
It cannot be a front for special interests. It should be a coalition of a true rainbow collective of us and be a race to homeostasis not Thanatos nakedly on display and not called out because it is all “commie” and “unabomber” (my brand! No..I think brands are nauseating unless like Anu Sawhney specifically of Meethi Kahani you are a cool person who makes vegan sweets. She is a friend - a real friend I never met. Found her via the regular web - no Facebook or Google involved. DuckDuckGo which is unfortunately now Microsoft associated. But pretty useful that aside. I do anti-ads. I hate Google).
and a lot of these querulous, perpetually aggrieved people are at least that or better. What are they all whining about? That is not left nor meritocratic. It is just entitled.
Eek..I am so getting murdered. Or maybe they will attack each other.

And well I would irritate the actual woke who are serious. I am not. I am, but I would rather exit often than continue under these ghastly conditions and respond like a different person. That is not even good for woke.

I think the music thing is as lame as memes. And all someone else’s creativity. I don’t have any creativity except a strange mix of borrowed styles and a 14.5 year long exposure to Prof Hennessy’s ghastly administerial style.
He is so unlike my mentor. But totally like that first super sleazy EECS Dept from 2000-2001.
I guess Prof Hennessy didn’t fleece me of actual cash though.

But I did listen to “The Boy w the Arab Strap” a lot while grappling with what a terrible admin Prof Hennessy is.