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ShazzieB

(21,654 posts)
75. I was raised Southern Baptist, too!
Tue Jun 24, 2025, 07:26 PM
Jun 2025

Was fine with it as a kid, but pulled away during my later teen years. There was a heavy emphasis on making sure you were "saved" and going to the right place when you died, and part of that was the idea that anyone who hadn't heard about the "plan of salvation" was automatically going to hell, so we all had a responsibility to "witness" to as many people as possible and try to "lead them to the lord." (All words in quotes were Baptist buzzwords that had very specific and significant meanings.)

As a socially awkward, introverted, teen girl, there was no way I was going to run around trying to convince people to change their beliefs, but I felt guilty about it because I was the kind of kid whose natural inclination was to do what I was told and if I couldn't, I saw it as a personal failing.

Add to that the messages I was being given about how the music I loved (the Beatles in particular) was the "devil's music" and listening to it was "sinful," and you have a perfect recipe for my becoming alienated from the kind of religion I grew up with. I eventually stopped attending church, which my mother didn't like but eventually learned to live with.

I did not become an atheist, however. The existence of God always has been and still is something that's too real to me to deny. Religion, including the idea that there was a creator who loved me, had sustained me throughout a difficult childhood, and I had no desire to ditch the whole thing just because I didn't like some of the trappings that a certain type of religion came with.

For the next few years, I looked for something I could commit to without having to give lip service to things I didn't really agree with. I still felt like a Christian in a lot of ways, but I was done with the biblical literalness I'd been raised with, as well as the idea that everything we'll ever need to know, the answers to every possible question about life were to be found in the Bible, and nowhere else. I stopped believing that in high school, after reading about how Martin Luther King -- an actual Baptist preacher! -- took a lot of his ideas about nonviolent resistance from Mahatma Gandhi. (He drew on some of the teachings of Jesus as well, but it was from Gandhi that he learned how to put nonviolence into practice as a catalyst for change.) That was an eye opener for little ex-Baptist me, that there were many sources of wisdom in the world to draw upon, not JUST the Bible.

My search for another way to connect with God stayed with me into my early 20s, when I learned about the Baha'i Faith and fell in love with its message about working for world unity and the idea that "the earth is but one country and mankind its citizens." I eventually embraced its teachings fully, became a Baha'i, and married a Baha'i man who is still my husband (51 years and counting!). For over 30 years, we both remained fully committed to that way of life, but as time went on, we began to disagree more and more with certain aspects of it.

The thing that eventually pushed both of us over the brink was the teachings on sexuality. Sex was to be reserved strictly for marriage (3 guesses how many Baha'is ever manage to fully live up to that), and marriage was between a man and a woman, no exceptions allowed. Gay people were warmly welcomed into the Baha'i fold but counseled to regard their same sex attractions as a sort of spiritual defect, and to remain celibate if they couldn't bring themselves to marry a member of the opposite sex. Ugh.

Long story short, we both left that religion a long time ago. My husband is just fine not bring affiliated with any religion, but I have continued to look for something that's a better fit for me, and I am now getting ready to join the Episcopal Church, which has the inclusivity and emphasis on reason (as opposed to blind belief) that's I need. In a way, I've come full circle, back to my Christian roots, but this is a very different flavor of Christianity, and I feel at home there.

In a way, my life might have been a lot simpler if I hadn't continued to feel a need to have religion as a part of it, but I do have that need, and pretending otherwise would never have worked for me. My belief in God is not something I've chosen intellectually; it's something that comes from a place deep inside me and has never left. If I was capable of being an atheist, I'm sure I'd be one by now, but I'm not.

At this point in my life, I do not believe there is any "one, true" religion and the others are all wrong. All I know is that being part of a religious community that reflects my own deeply held values is good for me in a way I can't really explain. It gives me something that I seem to need, and it feels like the right choice -- for me, not necessarily for everyone.

Recommendations

1 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

1984. I was sitting with my family in synagogue on Yom Kippur, no_hypocrisy Jun 2025 #1
I was raised Southern Baptist, which is enough in itself. Haggard Celine Jun 2025 #2
I was raised Southern Baptist, too! ShazzieB Jun 2025 #75
I was born without a religion gene. Girard442 Jun 2025 #3
Or perhaps within your genes, there is an inate immunity to religion? 70sEraVet Jun 2025 #11
Raised Jewish moonshinegnomie Jun 2025 #4
The absolute hypocrisy. OldBaldy1701E Jun 2025 #5
I suspect he wanted the tithes. Joinfortmill Jun 2025 #15
He just thought that gawd made him lord over men. OldBaldy1701E Jun 2025 #53
In High School Fiber Lady Jun 2025 #6
Lunch time at Catholic school dlilafae Jun 2025 #7
I too have struggled with religion since I was a teenager. Lonestarblue Jun 2025 #8
I was nine and my catechism teacher told me that dogs don't go to heaven. Javaman Jun 2025 #9
I was about to make my Confirmation mgardener Jun 2025 #41
Eight years of Catholic school. The second grade teacher LuckyLib Jun 2025 #80
Will Rogers said.. Permanut Jun 2025 #77
You could say my parents believed in freedom of thought EverHopeful Jun 2025 #10
By their preachers shall you know them RVN VET71 Jun 2025 #82
Plain and simple indigoth Jun 2025 #12
Locus of Control. multigraincracker Jun 2025 #13
Catholic girl. I was divorced in my 20s. Joinfortmill Jun 2025 #14
The Rev. James Cheek was the beginning for me. He was my Western Civ. instructor at Union Junior College. 3Hotdogs Jun 2025 #16
Once I was old enough to study human biology, any belief in a virgin birth disappeared. Lonestarblue Jun 2025 #18
Alcoholism OC375 Jun 2025 #17
Going to seminary :-) markie Jun 2025 #19
I grew up in a convent SLClarke Jun 2025 #20
Was raised Catholic Woodwizard Jun 2025 #21
Do unto others as you would have it done unto you. BattleRow Jun 2025 #22
Many of us have a very strong faith. beemerphill Jun 2025 #23
Hoping to impress a girl in college, I went to her fundamentalist church... lastlib Jun 2025 #24
I tried for many years to be a Christian. Trueblue Texan Jun 2025 #25
"...I could see no convincing evidence." rubbersole Jun 2025 #37
I respect all belief systems. Trueblue Texan Jun 2025 #43
When it gets used as a political WEAPON. Which seems to be always. usaf-vet Jun 2025 #26
Raised Catholic purple_haze Jun 2025 #27
Reason orangecrush Jun 2025 #28
Nuns and priests were mean, physical and mental. Picked on "slow" kids. twodogsbarking Jun 2025 #29
Eight years of Catholic school. 2MuchNoise Jun 2025 #66
Rest easy my friend, they are all dead by now. We survived, but there are scars. twodogsbarking Jun 2025 #69
Recovering Catholic: Chasstev365 Jun 2025 #30
I didn't know about the passports!!! cpamomfromtexas Jun 2025 #45
No able to post links Chasstev365 Jun 2025 #49
The hypocrisy of organized religion Bluestocking Jun 2025 #31
Never really belived. Went to Catholic school for 12 years, did all the stuff with respect but no real faith. Srkdqltr Jun 2025 #32
Born and raised a Roman Catholic... BobsYourUncle Jun 2025 #33
I formally left the Catholic church almost 15 years ago. mgardener Jun 2025 #34
I grew up. Became an adult... Layzeebeaver Jun 2025 #35
I never believed a word of it myself. mwb970 Jun 2025 #36
Now there is a strategy! Trueblue Texan Jun 2025 #55
I went to Catholic school. As I grew up I'm thinking if God is all love why is there so much hate. TommieMommy Jun 2025 #38
As soon as I went away to college I stopped attending Mass Ritabert Jun 2025 #39
I haven't: I practice Christ's teachings on my own LSparkle Jun 2025 #40
"I've cut out the middle man and am a DIY Christian." Love it! 2MuchNoise Jun 2025 #72
I was a teenager going to confirmation classes Qanisqineq Jun 2025 #42
The people I was sitting next to in church were not good people outside of church. NoMoreRepugs Jun 2025 #44
Raised Catholic LoCo Cat Lady Jun 2025 #46
i was lucky I think. barbtries Jun 2025 #47
Old School Methodist here SARose Jun 2025 #48
I had those experiences at Methodist Summer Camp yellowdogintexas Jun 2025 #81
Awesome! SARose Jun 2025 #83
Not mocking religion. However, Chasstev365 Jun 2025 #50
That is FABULOUS!!! Trueblue Texan Jun 2025 #59
Good Question Aaeia Jun 2025 #51
I read all the responses Aaeia Jun 2025 #57
First week of school Conjuay Jun 2025 #52
She told me in a dream bfoxmatt Jun 2025 #54
Being excommunicated at 18 was but one step in a process that had niyad Jun 2025 #56
How does one reconcile a 'sky god-trnity' with vast endlessness of the universe? brush Jun 2025 #58
Too many traumas to remember from mountain grammy Jun 2025 #60
It happened in my single digits. Jirel Jun 2025 #61
Nasty malicious gossiping church "ladies" and their equally nasty daughters. Clouds Passing Jun 2025 #62
I once read that most people leave their church because they feel misunderstood and rejected. Tbear Jun 2025 #63
I was raised to be a believer, but it never really took. Americanme Jun 2025 #64
Nothing Delarage Jun 2025 #65
Eight years in Catholic school. Enough said. 2MuchNoise Jun 2025 #67
I gave up being my rural church secretary at age 14 and have only returned for weddings and funerals. It just got sinkingfeeling Jun 2025 #68
Lifelong atheist angrychair Jun 2025 #70
It began when I was 8 years old sitting in church, cksmithy Jun 2025 #71
Reason, snot Jun 2025 #73
about 12 yrs old: this shit don't make sense. ret5hd Jun 2025 #74
Common sense. Polly Hennessey Jun 2025 #76
I was eight CloudWatcher Jun 2025 #78
For me, I am 71 JPK Jun 2025 #79
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