Is he dead yet?

[Blumancru]

15. Finds out that his mother

Never properly completed citizenship paperwork, and therefore was an illegal immigrant. Because he has banned birthright citizenship by executive order, he is not and never was an American citizen. Since he was never an American citizen, the 2024 election is declared null and void and Kamala Harris is declared the winner. The DC National Guard lures him out of the WH with a filet of fish sandwich on a string. He flees towards the Reflecting Pool, which by this time has gone full Jumanji. He falls in and sinks in the green ooze, like a villain falling into quicksand in an old Tarzan movie, until only his combover and the wrapper from a cheeseburger are visible floating on top.
Members of his family are sentenced to hard labor and restitution to pay to repair Washington, on the basis that they are the ones who fucked things up in the first place, and that no one else has any money left to fix things since they have stolen it all.
Damien and Mailorderia are taught basic masonry skills, which they put to use fixing the facade of the Kennedy Center.
Junior and Gums are given shovels and 8,647 contractor bags and told to get to work cleaning up the former East Wing.

Now top THAT one……